take this heart of stone

Where do my affections lie? What is it that truly moves my innermost and sets my heart ablaze? It seems as if it has been so long since I have felt the heat of a burning flame. This heart of stone is calloused and hardened, longing to be released and transformed into a life of passion and purpose. If I claim to love my God and my maker, then I should just as passionately hate what He hates. Sin should not reign in this body. My desire should not be to please this flesh. Please, O God, give me spiritual eyes so that I may see you! Give me spiritual ears that I may hear you! Ressurrect this spiritual corpse from spiritual death that I may be fully alive and living unto you. Do not allow my faith to be of a spurious sort. Do not allow my desires to be about this physical, material life. Create a new heart within me. Take this heart of stone and shatter the sin that dwells within it. Do not allow me to leave the bloody ground of the Cross. If this does not move my affections; if beholding Christ’s battered, distorted, bloodied, bruised and mingled body does not move me then nothing will. I am a pilgrim, a sojourner, looking for peace. I am wondering through this life aimlessly, treading a path to the abyss of Sheol. There are not road signs. Directions have been hijacked. I roam in circles. Every now and then I capture a glimpse of a hill with what appears to have a tree erected upon it. But the fog rolls into the dark valley and I become lost once again. Every once in a while I will capture a flicker of light that appears to be coming from that same hill, but then it fades as I wonder deeper into this chasm. The harder I search and the more I attempt self-rescue, the more it becomes apparent that I do not have what it takes. I give in to the temptations and the lies. Who am I? This is not who I am. I have been bought for a price. I am not my own. I have been ransomed from the pit of hell and transferred from this kingdom of darkness to a Kingdom of Light. My citizenship is in another world. It is my task to live as a Kingdom ambassador to those I encounter along this cold, dark, eerie path called life. I have been given a message to proclaim: good news to those who are spiritually poor and bankrupt; to bind up the wounds of those whose hearts have been broken; to open the prison of those who are spiritually oppressed by the enemy; to proclaim that this is the year of the LORD’s favor! O God, if this does not move my affections, then what will? Why am I bound by past guilt when there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ? Why do I allow the fear of the future to control me when you are the Sovereign Lord and there is not one single inch of this world that you say, “Mine! And I rule it!” Although the victory has been won, the battle wages on. Help me to see the risen Christ who conquered sin, death, and Satan by His atoning death. This is the only thing that can save such a damned sinner as myself. My sin is so great that it took the God-man to die in order to redeem my life and soul from Death. If this does not move me, nothing will! O God, I pray that you give me holy affections and passions for You. Do not allow the things of this world to distract me from the straight and narrow path that leads to your Kingdom! Even though I have not seen you, please give me spiritual eyes to see you and love you, that I may believe in you and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory. Allow my muted tongue to become spiritually alive that I may sing from the depths of my being, “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty; who was and is and is to come! Worthy are you, our Lord and God to receive glory and honor and power, for you created ALL things, and by your will they existed and were created. Worthy are you to take the scroll and open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth. Oh the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.” Please God, help me to press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. I do not deserve to breathe the next breath. There is nothing good in me, save Christ Jesus. Even the good things I do were prepared ahead of time in Christ Jesus that I may walk in them. Press on to know the Lord! Give me spiritual thirst and spiritual hunger. Allow this famine to pass. Burst forth with the rivers of living water, gushing forth from the spring of life. May your bread fall from heaven and may your Word never cease to be my guide and my strength. When all around me fall and forsake me, let me cling to your mighty right arm that brings salvation for your people. Oh God, slow to anger, yet abounding in loving kindness and mercy. You will not allow sin to go unpunished and you punished my SIN in the death of your son and have given me His righteousness. I have been adopted and can now call you Abba Father! If this does not move me, then nothing will! I feel so alone, yet I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. You have wounded me so that you may heal me. Restore to me the days of my youth. The time that I have wasted, may I give it back to you immeasurably. Into your hands I commit my Spirit! The saint must walk alone. If this doesn’t move me, then what will? Take this heart of stone....