get busy living, get busy dying

Past regrets. Loneliness. Self-pity. These are all things that I have been familiar with the past few months. Lies have been rampant and I have subtly bought into them time and again. It struck me the other day, whether I was aware of it or not, that what it amounts to is unbelief. By wallowing in past regrets I’m not allowing the grace and forgiveness of Christ to transform and heal my heart. Why am I holding onto things that Christ has forgiven and no longer holds against me? “If you, O Yahweh, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.” (Ps 130.3-4) “Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom Yahweh counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit...I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to Yahweh,’ and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.” (Ps 32.1-2; 5) “Bless Yahweh, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s...Yahweh is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Yahweh shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers we are but dust.” (Ps 103:3-5; 8-14) I must allow this truth to penetrate my heart and live in light of God’s forgiveness and grace. How can I be lonely when the Creator of the universe dwells within me and has chosen to place His presence through His Spirit into this broken vessel. God is Sovereign and faithful. No matter what He allows us to go through, He is Good. By believing the lies that I have been banished to a meaningless life is nothing more than unbelief. My Creator placed me on this earth for a purpose and that is to bring glory to His name no matter what the cost whether in times of blessing or loss. I believe that Christ can and does heal. At the end of the day this season is for my good and it is one more step in the process of sanctification that will eventually end in glorification. O how I long for the day when I will stand in His presence with the saints from all time. Sin will be no more and we will stand before Him perfect, clothed in Christ’s righteousness. Broken relationships will be no more and there will be perfect harmony between all people. Whatever has been broken in the past will be restored in the future. In the present, I must begin to live a life of faith and trust knowing that this world will always bring pain and hurt, but many times this is brought about by Christ in order to bring us to an end of ourselves. It’s time to take my eyes off myself and place them on Christ who reigns eternal as King Jesus! It’s time to step out in obedience and live a life that is marked by the sufferings of Christ and patient perseverance. My future and hope are secure. This is bigger than me and my comfort and happiness. I pray that my life will be marked by joy even in the midst of loss! Whatever I lose in this life cannot compare to what I have gained through Christ. I pray that I make much of Him and represent His unconditional, sacrificial, pursuing love to all I encounter. Eternal life begins now!