ashes remain

As tough as the past few months have been, I don’t want to let this time go to waste. In the midst of change and loss, so often we have the tendency towards self-pity and we end up just wallowing in our own muck. I know that it is very important to take the time to grieve and to mourn, but at some point we must face reality and rise from the ashes. That said, the past few days I have been pondering some very basic questions. I believe that many times in the Christian life, we tend to miss the forest because of the trees. We become so consumed in our hurt, pain, and loss that we don’t take the time to see things from an eternal, vertical perspective. In the West, we tend to view ourselves as facing the future. The past is behind us, so the key when trials and suffering come is to simply forget the past and look to the future. The ancient Hebrews, however, viewed themselves as facing the past. They constantly held their history before them and they knew that the same God who had been faithful, loving, and patient with them, would continue to do so as they “backed” their way into the future. I know that Paul says, “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Php 3.13-14) There is a sense in which we are to be striving toward the future and what lies ahead in the victory we have in Christ. But I think what happens many times is we simply write the past off altogether, throwing away the good with the bad. I believe it is healthy to examine your life and hold the past before you and see how God has been good, faithful, loving, and patient with you. This same God who is your Father and loves you intimately is the same God who will do the same in the present and in the future. Furthermore, I believe one of the main keys is to constantly look back to the Cross. If we are intentional about holding the Cross before us, we will constantly have a picture of what true love looks like. It will produce humility as we hold our murdered Savior before our eyes. As we look at His mutilated, battered body, we know the cost of our sin.

I don’t want to simply forget my past. Healing involves not simply dealing with the evils we have suffered, but also the sins we have committed. If I truly believe that God is sovereign, then I must stop in all circumstances and examine myself. So, it is my hope that over the course of the next few weeks, months, or even year to enter into an intense time of examining what it looks like to be a man of godly, Christ-like character. How can I learn from past mistakes and regrets in such a way that God uses them to change me for his glory? There are many different pictures that the Bible uses to describe Christ. He is at one and the same time a valiant King, who is strong and righteous, and just, but He is also a Shepherd who is gentle, and loving, and patient. It is my prayer that I as I begin to look into the Truth of Scripture, that it will transform me into a man of character. I pray that someday I will be a worthy groom who has risen from the ashes to love his bride with the same love as Christ loves His church. I know that in the grand scheme of things, it is only the grace of God that can change this heart and that I will never be perfect until I see Him as He is. In the meantime, however, I want to press on to know Him more and as I gaze at His holiness that it will transform me into a man after His own heart. Let the healing begin...