the living dead

One can only truly live after he has accepted the fact that he is already dead. It’s a fundamental disposition. We deserve nothing and everything we have is a gift from God. We are born totally depraved and even our good deeds are still tainted with sin. Death is not something that most people like to dwell on. But why is it that we spend so much time in preparation in planning for our futures, but we rarely prepare ourselves for death. After all, it is the only certain thing that we will each have to face. For the believer, death is the last enemy, but we have already been given eternal life. Although we die physically, spiritually we have already been resurrected. We possess even now the benefits of eternal life. When Christ died, He absorbed the wrath of God in my place. The old man died with Him. So, why do we fear physical death? I admit that I experience anxiety and fear at times when I think about facing this last enemy. I think what it comes down to is a lack of faith and unbelief. If I truly believe that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, then why fear? I believe that this fear is the root cause of most other fears in life. Why is it that we are not going into hostile countries that hate Christ? Is because we may die for advancing the Gospel? Is this such a bad thing? I admit, I’m not there yet. I have many fears and weaknesses. I selfishly look for ways to serve Christ, yet hold on to my comforts. The Christian life is not a comfortable life! If we are not standing up for the rights of those who are unborn and the injustices that occur for the poor and the weak, then who will? Yes, you will be hated and it may even cost you your life! But we are already dead! They may kill our bodies, but who can touch the one who is safe in the arms of Christ. I know this isn’t something fun to think about, but lets face it. We’re selfish and care more about this life than the life to come. Wherever the true Gospel goes forth, there is always persecution. We don’t want to engage in Kingdom work because we’re too complacent and self-consumed. We’d rather sit on our butts and waste our God-given time doing absolutely nothing that furthers the Kingdom of Christ. We are the center of our universe. If we are to share in the sufferings of Christ, we have to give this fear to Him. This isn’t something that we can naturally produce within ourselves. Nothing but the grace of God can produce this sort of outlook. Dear Christian, we have hope! Hope that is seen is not true hope. “Let not your heart be troubled! Believe in God and believe also in me.” If you truly accept the fact that you are dead, then there is nothing in this life that can phase you. You will boldly go forth, with your face set like flint engaging the enemy and proclaiming the Good News of the Gospel. Fear no man! Fear only God who has promised to welcome you into His presence. We are merely pilgrims, strangers, sojourners in this world. This is not our home. The more we pound this into our heads, the closer we are to arriving at this position! O God, help my unbelief. May we join hands and hearts as a band of brothers in this cause! Death is not something that we intentionally seek out, but we must be prepared to face this enemy if this is the result of bringing the Gospel to those who are enmeshed in the kingdom of Darkness. O God, may we renounce our foolish desires for a life of comfort and ease. “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead and Christ will shine on you.” This world is far more wicked and dark than we ever imagined. Don’t succumb to the lies of the enemy that seeks to woo our souls to serve fleeting things that will all pass away. Security does not lie in material things but in Christ who gave Himself for us! Let’s live each day to the fullest and be willing to answer the call to die so that we may truly live!

accepted in Christ

“How marvelous that we, worms, mortals, sinners, should be the objects of divine love! But it is only ‘in the beloved.’ Some Christians seem to be accepted in their own experience, at least, that is their apprehension. When their spirit is lively, and their hopes bright, they think God accepts them, for they feel so high, so heavenly-minded, so drawn above the earth! But when their souls cleave to the dust, they are the victims of the fear that they are no longer accepted. If they could but see that all their high joys do not exalt them, and all their low despondencies do not really depress them in their Father’s sight, but that they stand accepted in one who never alters, in one who is always the beloved of God, always perfect, always without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, how much happier they would be, and how much more they would honour the Saviour! Rejoice then, believer, in this: thou art accepted ‘in the beloved.’ Thou lookest within, and thou sayest, ‘There is nothing acceptable here!’ But look at Christ, and see if there is not everything acceptable there. Thy sins trouble thee; but God has cast thy sins behind His back, and thou art accepted in the Righteous One. Thou has to fight with corruption, and to wrestle with temptation, but thou art already accepted in Him who has overcome the powers of evil. The devil tempts thee; be of good cheer, he cannot destroy thee, for thou art accepted in Him who has broken Satan’s head. Know by full assurance they glorious standing. Even glorified souls are not more accepted than thou art. They are only accepted in heaven ‘in the beloved,’ and thou art even now accepted in Christ after the same manner.”

-Charles Spurgeon

I read this earlier this evening and it really spoke to me. Whenever I have spiritual struggles or I fall into some sort of sin, I have a tendency to beat myself up even though I genuinely repent. The key lies in seeing ourselves as being accepted in Christ. The enemy is subtle. We battle against our own flesh, the world, and the Devil who first tempts us to sin, then he condemns us for sinning and loads us with guilt deceiving us from going before the Throne for forgiveness, restoration, and cleansing by the blood of Christ. When we stop viewing our standing as a matter of what we do and start believing in what Christ has done, then we will be freed from this performance based religiosity from the pit of hell. This doesn’t mean that we can simply excuse our sin or that there won’t be consequences. However, if we truly realize our acceptance in Christ, then this will act as the most powerful defense against falling into temptation. Although the battle is fierce and the temptations are real and there will be times that we will all fall, go to the Cross. Confess your sin. Repent and rest in the Blood that was shed for you!

“Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom Yahweh counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit...I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to Yahweh, and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.” Ps 32.1-2, 5

decay

I am my own biggest idol. I worship self. I constantly make sacrifices to fulfill my godless passions and desires. I passionately pursue things that will make me acceptable. This acceptance feeds my ego. In turn, this produces pride which is the root of all sin. I present by body, mind, and spirit as a living sacrifice to myself. Pursue whatever brings me pleasure. Who cares if it is offensive to a holy God. It’s all about me and what makes me feel loved, accepted, and valued. So I kill the Spirit. I embrace the smaller ‘idols’ in order to worship the Idol, known as self. Even when I pursue and worship other idols, it’s simply for the purpose of fulfilling my own desires to be loved. I desire to be made much of. The insecurities, the lies, the doubts...Do whatever it takes to self-medicate. Don’t face reality. Money, lust, status, these are what you crave. This will make you complete. Do whatever it takes. Who cares about who you hurt or damage along the way. This is about me. I’m my own god. I pursue God because he endorses my desire to be made much of. But in the end, there is nothing but pain, hurt, decay, agony, torture, torment, desolation, emptiness, vacuity, and an abyss that festers and putrefies into an unbearable stench. Like all idols that are dead and have no ability to truly see, hear, feel, or think; seeing I do not see, hearing I do not hear, feeling I do not feel, and thinking I do not think.

Perhaps this is what it means to be given spiritual eyes. Not only to see God for who He truly is, but also to see my own state and how wicked, depraved, sick, immoral, iniquitous, vile, and corrupt that I really am. It’s not until I accept this reality that I can fully grasp how much I need Christ. I am a man who is weak, lustful, insecure, prideful, covetous, and desperately in need of rescue. The more I truly see Christ, the more I begin to truly see myself and it is not pretty.

“O Holy Father! Please give me spiritual eyes to see Your Holiness and myself for who I really am. Give me spiritual ears to hear your Word. Give me the mind of Christ to discern your truth. Help me by God’s grace to keep myself from idols, the biggest idol being myself. Fill my heart with the love of Christ. Give me the grace to live this life in such a way that brings you glory. And by seeing you, give me the ability to make much of you. Help me to die to Self and live by the power of the Spirit. Let there not be one nanosecond in which I am not aware of your Presence. This is eternal life. That they may know you the only true God and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. Help me to know you. Help me not to wallow in past sin that was nailed to the Cross. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Give me the grace to see your Glory. Give me a hunger and a thirst that only your Word can fill. Keep me from temptation. Guard my heart. May I be steadfast, unmovable, and relentless in putting to death the deeds of the flesh by the power of the Spirit. May I find my joy, acceptance, and happiness in You. Resurrect this dead corpse and help me to live as the new creature that I am.

“Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.” Amen. (Ps 61.1-3)

smoking flax

Christian. Why are you cast down? When trials come and your faith is tested, count it pure joy. You are sharing in the sufferings of Christ. When you feel all alone and the flame that once was has dwindled to smoke, remind yourself that "A smoking flax He will not quench." The fact that there is smoke proves that there is at least a smoldering coal that is producing the smoke. Allow Christ to fan this coal into a raging fire that refines your very being. Look to the Cross, Christian. Gaze upon Him who was made sin for you! Stand in awe at the greatest act of love the universe has ever witnessed. Remember the power of the resurrection. Christ triumphed over sin, death, and Satan! You have the freedom now NOT to sin. You owe no debt to the flesh. You have been transferred from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of Light. You are on a mission sent as an ambassador of King Jesus entrusted with a message of Good News that is the only hope for you and those who remain in the bondage of sin. Christian, there is an eternal weight of glory that far outweighs the present trial you are experiencing. You already possess eternal life. Fear no man who can destroy the body, but fear Him who can destroy both body and soul in hell. Die every day! The old man has been crucified with Christ. You have been raised with Him to new life. Press on! Even though you fall, get back up on your feet and pick up your Cross. The war is over, but the battle rages on. A fighting soldier is a living soldier. The fact that you are fighting proves that you're alive. The battle is fierce, but the King is the Ancient of Days and rules with a rod of iron. You are more than a conqueror clothed in the righteousness of Christ, adopted as a child of God. So take every thought captive. Slay the deeds of the body. Renew your mind every day. Present your body as a living sacrifice. Love passionately. Seek the good of others. Seize the day. Rejoice in the Lord always. Be gentle and patient with one another. Pray fervently. O Christian, you are more wicked than you ever dared believe, but more loved than you ever dared hope for.

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever." Ps 73.25-26

the opportunity of a lifetime

“This will be your opportunity to bear witness.” Luke 21:13

As I was making my way through the Gospel According to Luke last week, this verse struck me like a ton of bricks. So many people assume that Christianity is an easy, feel good, soft, warm and fuzzy, life. They’ve been taught that as long as they repeat the prayer and say the words that they will get to go to heaven. They’re whole perception of coming to Christ is because He makes much of them. They’re more in love with the gifts than the Giver. It’s all about them and their happiness, comfort, and status. After all, who wouldn’t want the “Good Life”? If this is what Christianity is, then sign me up! This is called spurious faith. When times get tough and God doesn’t bend down to meet their demands, they’re gone!

One of the major themes running through Scripture in general, the NT in particular is the role of suffering in the life of the true Christian. Wherever the true Gospel goes forth, there is always a backlash from the enemy. Just a cursory reading of any of the four Gospels will reveal that Christianity is not the “Good Life” that so many envision it to be. In short, it is a life of pain, suffering, and trials. To make matters more complicated, the struggle is both internal and external. The flesh “wars” against the Spirit and the Spirit “wars” against the flesh. We are called to die every day. It is suffering that typically reveals whether or not our faith is genuine or spurious. The true believer embraces suffering as an opportunity to make much of Christ!

So, what is the opportunity that Jesus says we will have to “bear witness”? In verse twelve, He says, “But before all this they will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up in the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name’s sake.” He continues in verse 16-19 saying, “You will be delivered up even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and some of you they will put to death. You will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But not a hair of your head will perish. By your endurance you will gain your lives.” How much more explicit could Christ be? I know that many of us have never faced persecution in America, but could it be because our lives are so assimilated to the culture that there is no visible difference? The apostle John says that the “whole world lies in the power of the evil one.” If this is the case, then this includes America. It doesn’t matter what our heritage is, if the true Gospel is lived out, we will suffer! Paul tells Timothy that “all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” (2 Ti 3:12)

I know that persecution and suffering doesn’t always come in physical forms, but I do believe that we are living in a world that is just as fallen, wicked, and depraved as the days of Christ. I know that in the immediate context Christ was addressing His disciples, but the Bible is always relevant because the heart of man and the heart of God have not changed. I’m not saying we need to seek suffering just for the sake of suffering. But in the end, if we’re not experiencing some sort of pain, suffering, or persecution, I think it’s a great opportunity for self-examination. The Christian life is radical! You’re either in or your out. There’s no in between. I pray that God may give us the grace to see with spiritual eyes as we face new battles every day and that by enduring we will gain our lives!

ashes remain

As tough as the past few months have been, I don’t want to let this time go to waste. In the midst of change and loss, so often we have the tendency towards self-pity and we end up just wallowing in our own muck. I know that it is very important to take the time to grieve and to mourn, but at some point we must face reality and rise from the ashes. That said, the past few days I have been pondering some very basic questions. I believe that many times in the Christian life, we tend to miss the forest because of the trees. We become so consumed in our hurt, pain, and loss that we don’t take the time to see things from an eternal, vertical perspective. In the West, we tend to view ourselves as facing the future. The past is behind us, so the key when trials and suffering come is to simply forget the past and look to the future. The ancient Hebrews, however, viewed themselves as facing the past. They constantly held their history before them and they knew that the same God who had been faithful, loving, and patient with them, would continue to do so as they “backed” their way into the future. I know that Paul says, “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Php 3.13-14) There is a sense in which we are to be striving toward the future and what lies ahead in the victory we have in Christ. But I think what happens many times is we simply write the past off altogether, throwing away the good with the bad. I believe it is healthy to examine your life and hold the past before you and see how God has been good, faithful, loving, and patient with you. This same God who is your Father and loves you intimately is the same God who will do the same in the present and in the future. Furthermore, I believe one of the main keys is to constantly look back to the Cross. If we are intentional about holding the Cross before us, we will constantly have a picture of what true love looks like. It will produce humility as we hold our murdered Savior before our eyes. As we look at His mutilated, battered body, we know the cost of our sin.

I don’t want to simply forget my past. Healing involves not simply dealing with the evils we have suffered, but also the sins we have committed. If I truly believe that God is sovereign, then I must stop in all circumstances and examine myself. So, it is my hope that over the course of the next few weeks, months, or even year to enter into an intense time of examining what it looks like to be a man of godly, Christ-like character. How can I learn from past mistakes and regrets in such a way that God uses them to change me for his glory? There are many different pictures that the Bible uses to describe Christ. He is at one and the same time a valiant King, who is strong and righteous, and just, but He is also a Shepherd who is gentle, and loving, and patient. It is my prayer that I as I begin to look into the Truth of Scripture, that it will transform me into a man of character. I pray that someday I will be a worthy groom who has risen from the ashes to love his bride with the same love as Christ loves His church. I know that in the grand scheme of things, it is only the grace of God that can change this heart and that I will never be perfect until I see Him as He is. In the meantime, however, I want to press on to know Him more and as I gaze at His holiness that it will transform me into a man after His own heart. Let the healing begin...

life: a divine comedy

I believe that one of the biggest battles that we face each day is to not fall into the trap that this world is all there is. So much of the Christian life is determined by your mindset. We are engaged in a battle every second of every day against an enemy that is seeking to fight for our minds and get us to believe the lie that this is all there is. I’ve had a lot of time the past few months to sit in silence. At times, I’ll admit, it really freaks me out. It really forces you to take an honest look at your life, the world around you, and the circumstances that surround you. When things are taken away from you and you are left with a fraction of what once was, you begin to examine yourself and sometimes what you find is not so pretty. So often in the business of life, we attempt to feel our time with busy schedules, road trips, social media, and a plethora of other things that fight for our attention. I’ll be the first to admit that I have been guilty of sacrificing my time for all of the above. Honestly, I think a big reason that we seek these things is that we cannot handle the silence and are scared of what we might find. There is a void that we seek to fill with people or things other than Christ. So much of our identity is wrapped up in this world. We don’t take the time to stop and see what we really are in Christ. This is not something that comes natural to us. Even Paul says, “for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” (Php 4.11) Hence, we have to learn to be content in any situation. This has been a constant struggle for me and I know that God has brought me to this point so that I can learn to be content with Him and Him alone. As I look back on life, I can attest that nothing is certain. People change, circumstances change, and the only constant we have is our Rock, Christ Jesus. If we find our identity, security, or meaning in anything else, then we are doomed to be disappointed.

How then are we to engage in this battle called life? A lot of people view this life as tragedy. In literature, a tragedy moves from a wonderful beginning to a horrible ending and there is no resolution. As we journey through life and reality sets in, dreams are dashed, relationships are broken, and eventually we all face death. If the Bible ended with the Fall, then by all means this life would be tragic. But this is how we so often live our lives even as believers. We act as if this is it! We fail to realize that full scope of the Bible is not tragedy, but comedy. In the classical sense, a comedy begins on a high note, moves toward despair, and ends triumphantly. This is what the Gospel is all about. We were created as perfect beings, meant to live in fellowship with God and each other. With the Fall, however, despair and death entered the world. The Good News is that the story ends triumphantly for those who are in Christ. This is what the Cross is all about. When Christ died, He conquered sin, Death, and Satan. He died the death that we deserved to die and lived the perfect life that we cannot live. The story of life ends in triumph for those who are a part of His Kingdom. The enemy tries to get us to view this life as a tragedy, and without Christ it is!

When we face loss and pain in this life, we should stop and ask the question, “What are you trying to teach me through this Lord?” Many times we don’t have the all the answers and at times we may not ever know all the purposes that are in the mind of God. I think we rarely stop and ponder the fact that there is a whole other dimension in which our lives are on display. Take Job for instance. Really, God proved Satan wrong at Job’s expense. As far as we know, He was never let in on what was truly going on between God and Satan. As God’s children, we each play a leading role in this EPIC adventure called life. For all we know, the angels are enthralled as they watch our lives, waiting to see how things unfold in this gripping drama. Paul says, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.” (1 Co 13.12) It is in the midst of loss that our faith is truly tested and refined. Each morning when we wake up, we have a choice to make. Are we going to view this life as a tragedy or the comedy that it truly is? No matter the circumstances, no matter the loss, as children of God, we have the hope that the ending of the story ends triumphantly, not in tragedy.

I wish that I would have taken this more to heart, but there is nothing I can do to change the past. I must now rest in the fact that I have a warrior King who loves me passionately and gave His life for me. I stand cleansed from past sin and He is molding me more and more into His image. His grace is sufficient for every circumstance and I am commanded to worship Him and praise Him even in the midst of loss. He has been nothing but good to me and He loves me so much that He was willing to discipline me so that I do not lose sight of the eternal purposes. As I think of my life being on display, I pray that I remain faithful and engage in this epic battle knowing that whatever happens in this life, I can say that I fought the good fight and finished the race! To hear Him say, “Well done, Michael, my good and faithful servant!” will far outweigh any loss or pain that I experience in this life. May this forever be my prayer!

a war and a wedding

“The message of the Bible teaches us that life is a war and a wedding. Life is a war--a grand adventure in which God calls us to die daily. Life is a battleground--an epic quest to join God in the ultimate defeat of his archenemy--Satan. Life is a wedding--a passionate romance in which Christ calls us to love intimately. Life is a battle for our love--the ageless question of who captures our heart--Christ or Satan.”

R. Kellemen, Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction, 15.

I read this quote earlier today and I couldn’t help but pause and meditate on this truth. I think over the past few months, I have definitely experienced the spectrum between war and love. I always had the desire to love, but I never realized how hard the battle would actually be. Furthermore, I tried to fight in my own strength which is futile. This is the epitome of pride. Instead of dying in order to live, I decided to wage my own battle and ran headlong into a wall of grief and tragedy. Like a loving Father, God eventually had to intervene and say ‘enough is enough.’ I cannot and I will not bless sin. You are attempting to live life in the flesh and this is producing nothing but grief, strife, and eventually death. So, the chastening begins. Like any soldier, we must go through training and discipline before we are fit to engage in battle. If we enter into this war called life in our own strength, we are bound to fail miserably.

One passage that has really spoken to me of late is Hebrews 12:5-12. It says:

And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Although I didn’t realize it at first, I can pretty safely say that I have experienced an intense season of disciplining from my Father. I’m honest enough to say that it is not a fun-filled experience and probably one of the harder things I’ve ever faced in life. But, in the grand scheme of things, I know that it is for my good. This was in His plan to make me stop and realize some things that I had not dealt with. You see, sin does not merely effect you, but it has both a vertical and a horizontal dimension. It is always first and foremost an insult against God and His holiness and secondly there is always a ripple effect. If we are His children, God will not allow us to continually insult His holiness or hurt those around us that He has placed within our lives to love and care for. He is much more concerned about our holiness than our happiness. Many times the only way we can experience true joy, love, and holiness is if we are first made aware of the depth of our sin and flesh and how much Christ has done for us. We must first lose all faith in ourselves before we can place all of our faith in Christ. If we do not respond to the positive teaching through the Word, then God has no choice but to discipline us and train us to engage the battle through His strength not our own. Life is a war.

But life is also a wedding. I remember a time when I desired nothing less than to be a man of character and represent Christ to all whom I encounter. I prayed fervently that He would give me the opportunity to share His love through a relationship that would hopefully end in marriage. The opportunity has since come and gone, and somewhere along the way, I took my eyes off of Christ and placed them on myself. And when you take your eyes of Christ, you no longer have the ability to truly love others. You stop sacrificing and begin to serve yourself. The results are tragic. I relied on my own strength and like any idol, at some point it must all come crashing down. I really wish things would have worked out, but I know that God in His purposes had other plans. I think I now know that there is never love without death and there is never peace without fighting for it. Although the pain of past regrets and failures are still very real, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m beginning to gain back that passion and fire of becoming a man of character. I’m finding the joy of redemption and forgiveness in Christ. I long to become a man who exhibits the characteristics of a Kingdom citizen as taught in the Sermon on the Mount. I desire to produce the fruit of the Spirit that leads to life and peace rather than the fruits of the flesh that lead to death. All of this is a battle, but the war must be waged. If we are going to experience the passionate romance that Christ has called us to live out with our bride, we must first experience with Him.

O God, may you give me the grace to fight so that I may love!

i thank God

I thank God for the pain, it let’s me know I’m alive. I thank God for the wounds, it’s only then that He can heal. I thank God for the trials, that He sees fit to refine me. I thank God for the loneliness, therefore I can have sweet fellowship with Him. I thank God for uprooting me, for I know now that my plans are not my own. I thank God for the chastening, for He disciplines His children He calls His own. I thank God for pressing me, for only then can the corruption ooze out of me. I thank God for the tears, now I know that I can feel. I thank God for knowing her, but now I know how it feels to lose the only one I've ever loved. So long friend, may God use you mightily for His Kingdom!