where are the men?

Since my time of arrival here in Korea, my heart has been grieved and broken for both the abuse of women and the failure of men to fulfill their God-given duty and responsibility to protect, provide, and sacrifice for our ladies. I live in what amounts to the adult entertainment district in my city and prostitution is rampant. I have been solicited at least three times since my arrival and cannot even ride the elevator in my apartment building without being bombarded with business cards of call girls and advertisement for prostitution. Just this morning as I was leaving my apartment, I could hear the loud screams and cries of a woman in a dispute with her husband or boyfriend.

All sin is an offense against God and his holiness, but some ‘sins’ are especially grotesque in demonstrating the horrendous nature of this disease that we all possess. Sexual assault is rampant throughout the world. One in four females have or will be assaulted in their lifetime and one in six males will experience some form of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, the perpetrators involved in most cases are either relatives or acquaintances. The results are often tragic and traumatic, sometimes lasting a lifetime. In addition, many women are enslaved through sex trafficking against their will. Sadly, in most cases the abuse has little to do with fulfilling sexual desire, but is more about dominating and controlling an individual through an abuse of power.

God created men to be protectors and providers. He created the woman from his rib, close to his heart to be loved and under his arm to be protected. However, since the fall, men have failed over and over at protecting and loving women. God gave men women as a gift to be cherished, not as a possession to be abused. He created men to sacrifice for them, placing their needs before their own, not to take from them for their own gratification and lusts. Since the fall, most men tend to be passive in not protecting the women God has given them, or domineering and overpowering. Both extremes are equally bad and do not contribute to ending sexual assault. On the one hand, the passive men are not taking the lead in protecting our ladies. On the other hand, many domineering men are the ones who are responsible for the abuse. It is high time that men, especially those who claim the name of Christ, begin to fight to protect our ladies and not simply turn a blind eye to all the abuse that is so prevalent. This is not a problem that is isolated to any one country or part of the world. So, where do we begin?

I want to speak specifically to the men, although, I believe that the ladies can gain from this as well. Men, I know that we are living in a world where we are absolutely bombarded every day with images of the sexual nature. I am in no way immune and I have definitely had my fair share of struggles in resisting temptation. Even if you haven’t succumbed to temptation, Jesus says in Matthew 5 that if you’ve looked at a woman with lust, then you have committed adultery with her in your heart. Basically, he levels the playing field and says that we are all adulterers. What man hasn’t had a moment of weakness in which he has looked to long or allowed his imagination to run free. Like all sin, the result is a skewed and distorted way in which we view women. Women are not merely tools or objects to fulfill our sexual desire. They were created in the image of God with dignity and honor. Out of all creation, only she was found to be a suitable match for man. Every time you look at a woman with lust or view pornography or sexually explicit material, you are participating in the propagation of destroying the way in which women should be viewed. Behind every picture or movie, there is a real human soul that has probably experienced a life of abuse and neglect that has resulted in them willing to sell their bodies and dignity. This should grieve our hearts to the core. We should develop a holy hatred for all such sin and pray that God gives us spiritual eyes to see the horrendous and heinous nature of such depravity. It should break our hearts to see a woman abused and treated as nothing more than an object. If you begin to view women for who they really are as God see them, then I think it will serve as a huge impetus to fight temptation. I know in my own life and through my own struggles that nothing has served me better than developing and cultivating a God-honoring, biblical view of women.

Men, we would serve ourselves well to seek to understand the nature of the female heart. God created her with the desire to be pursued, loved, protected, and sacrificed for. Christ should serve as our ultimate example in seeking to make this a reality. He demonstrated his love for His bride, the Church, by making the ultimate sacrifice of giving his life for her. If called upon, each of us should be willing to lay down our life. He pursues even when we don’t want to be pursued. Like a delicate glass, He is always gentle and never overbearing. We should demonstrate this same love to the women he has given us. Think of it this way. When God blesses you with a woman, he has entrusted her to you. You are responsible for demonstrating Christ’s love to her and for her. That is a huge responsibility and not something to take lightly. It is the most precious gift that He could ever give a man. Do not squander the opportunity. You are never more masculine than when you understand and lead the way that God intended you to lead. Study her. Romance her. Lead her. Love her. Pursue her. Pray for her.

Once you cultivate a biblical view of women, it is time to take up arms and start fighting against sexual abuse in all forms. I am no expert and by no means a perfect example, but I know that the Gospel is the only thing powerful enough to combat sin and bring positive change to the world. Everything else merely slows the decaying process. Part of the reality of living in a broken and fallen world is that this will be a continual battle. We must be willing to go into the trenches and shine the light of the Gospel into the broken and shattered lives of the abused. It’s not glamorous, but they need to be rescued. Christ saved and rescued us while we were at our worse. How much more should we be willing to give our ourselves for the sake of those trapped in bondage and abuse. You can begin by simply praying for those around you. Every night when I’m walking home and I see these women, sometimes even on the same elevator, I just pray for them that God will deliver them from the bondage. My heart grieves as I long to see them set free. There are other avenues and many great organizations out there, but I believe that it has to start with each man coming to terms with his own God-given role and responsibility to nurture and cultivate a biblical, Christ-centered, Gospel-driven, sacrificial, love for all women. Your responsibility is to love your wife first if your married. If your single, then you should begin and pray that you are able to stay pure. All women are God’s daughters and when you fall into temptation you are also sinning against your future wife. Pray, pray, pray! And when you find that girl that you want to pursue, don’t play games with her heart. Ask men that you respect to pray for you and when the time is right go for it. It’s never easy, but you will serve her better by letting her know where you stand. If you’re not sure, stay away from her!

In closing, I just want to mention one more thing to my brothers. If you’ve messed up, dropped the ball, fallen into temptation, or even been a perpetrator of some form of abuse, you are not outside the grace of God. Is it sin, yes! But Christ died for that sin. Come to Christ and cry out to him with a heart of repentance and you will be made clean. That’s not to say that there won’t be consequences--emotional, physical, etc.--but the penalty of that sin has been paid by the blood of Christ. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Don’t allow the enemy to paralyze you with guilt and shame. Conviction is from the Holy Spirit and leads to repentance. Guilt and shame is from the enemy and leads to wallowing in sins that are forgiven. I would recommend finding a brother and seeking some counsel, but please come to the Cross where there is always forgiveness!

I pray that each man will examine himself and allow the Gospel to change your life and mind from the inside out to become the men that God has created us to be! Press on, brothers! It’s a tough, broken, fallen world, but our ladies need us.

the Lie

The biggest lie we must all overcome in this life is that it is not about us and our happiness, but about God and His glory. This is what distinguishes the hypocrite from the true believer. Jonathan Edwards, probably the most gifted theological mind in American history, says that the hypocrite only comes to Christ because He endorses their desire to be made much of. In other words, their whole perception of the Gospel is anthropocentric or ‘man-centered’. The only reason they come to Christ is because they are seeking a life of comfort, happiness, prosperity, and prestige. They know nothing of the holiness and majesty of Christ. They do not see the seriousness of sin and how it is a disease that is encompasses their entire being. They do not see themselves as being in need of rescue, rather, if anything they believe that God needs them. It is the height of human arrogance to de-throne Christ and place ourselves in His place and demand that He bow down to meet our demands and give us anything that we desire. They domesticate God and deify themselves. At the very least they are bringing God down to their level. There is no distinction between Creator and creation. How ludicrous! How preposterous! This is nothing less than idolatry. They exchange the truth of God for a lie and choose to worship the creature (in this case ourselves) rather than the Creator. And then, when things don’t go as they wish, they turn around and blame God as being unjust, unfair, and unloving.......

Edwards would go on to say that the true believer embraces Christ because of their desire to make much of Him. Out of state of brokeness and desperation, they see their plight and need to be rescued. The more they see the holiness of God, the more they realize the depth and seriousness of their sin. They realize that they are spiritually bankrupt and destitute. Their entire sustenance and well-being must come from outside themselves. They realize that even their righteousness is as filthy menstrual rags tainted by their own filth. In turn, this produces mourning and they begin to grieve over their hideous and heinous state. It is at this moment that Christ rescues them! The spiritual corpse is given life. They are given spiritual eyes to see and ears to hear. As they look to the Cross, they see the love, mercy, justice, and grace of God on full display. They are so captivated and smitten that they remain at the foot of the Cross and for all eternity will sing the song of the Redeemed:

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!...Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to received glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created...Worthy are you to take the scroll and open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth.”

The lie is as old as Eden. “You will not die, you will be like God knowing good and evil.” Along with our parents, we are born into this world broken and alienated from God and each other. We seek to cover our shame and guilt by sewing fig leaves together, hiding from the only One who can truly cover our sin. Just like the garden, God must provide the sacrifice. Blood must be shed. Death must occur. Thankfully, He provided the ultimate sacrifice by offering His own Son to die the death we deserved to die! Our guilt has been taken away and our sin atoned for! This is the very heart of the Gospel. May we put to death once and for all the Lies that our hearts are so easily drawn to!

twenty-nine

Today, I turn twenty-nine years old. As I reflect back on this past year, it is filled with memories of pain, hurt, and loneliness. In many ways, it was one of the toughest years of my life, but through the midst of pain and loss, I can honestly say that God is faithful. Many times, life’s trials are the crucible in which our hearts are tested and refined. We can praise Christ in the good times, but our faith is tested in the difficult times. It is through fire that our lives are placed on the anvil as God pounds us more into the image of His Son. I can now look back and thank God for all that He is doing and continues to do in my heart. Although the pain was real and there are still some days that are difficult, I know that He has a purpose and there was and is a lot of junk in my heart that needed to be dealt with. It was in the midst of this brokeness, however, that I learned many valuable lessons that I pray that I never forget. Here is my best effort to share some of what I have learned:

GOD DOES NOT BLESS SIN: Unfortunately, in my stubborn and obstinate heart, I had to learn this the hard way. God will always receive glory, but He will never bless sin. When we claim the Name of Christ, we are called to live a life of obedience and holiness. Not out of duty, but out of love and gratitude for what He has done for us. There are always consequences of our sin and I paid heavily for my unrepentant heart.

GRACE IS TO BE RECEIVED NOT ONLY DISPENSED: I learned through the midst of my struggles that I easily dispensed grace to others, but had a difficult time receiving grace into my own life. I believe this stems ultimately from pride because I want to fix things and sew fig leaves to cover my shame and guilt. But, like Adam, this is never the solution. God must be the one to provide the sacrifice and blood must be shed. At the Cross, God provided the ultimate sacrifice in His Son Jesus and it is through His shed blood that I am counted righteous. I am learning to accept this as a free gift and rejoice in this fact!

REGRETS FROM THE PAST AND FEAR OF THE FUTURE PARALYZE YOU IN THE PRESENT: To this day, I have many regrets for decisions I’ve made and for not leading well in other areas of life. I believe that it is healthy to take an honest assessment of your failures, but at some point you have to move on and accept the grace and forgiveness of Christ. I know that I have a tendency to beat myself up and wallow in my past. Was it sin? Yes! But Christ died for that sin! It’s the same with the future. When we focus either on past regrets or we fear the future, we simply miss out on the present and all that God is teaching us.

LIFE IS MORE ABOUT OUR HOLINESS THAN OUR HAPPINESS: This is a tough lesson to learn, but a very important one. Life is ultimately about bringing glory to Christ and this is usually displayed through suffering and pain more than blessing and prosperity. This past year, I experienced deep loss, but it was through this situation that I realized the depth of my own sin and just how desperately I needed to be rescued from myself. It drove me to the Cross and for this, I am thankful!

Although there are many more things I could share, these sum up the major life lessons that I have learned over the course of this past year. This life is tough and the more prepared we are to face the realities of living as broken people in a jacked-up, fallen world, the more effective we will be in facing life’s trials. The Cross is the only solution that deals with the problem of evil and sin, yet upholds God’s mercy, grace, and love. I pray that over this next year I will continue to grow in whatever Christ has for me. Each day, I pray that I die to myself and pursue the only source of true happiness--Jesus. I thank God for each of you that He has placed in my life! I pray that we are able to connect at some point over the course of this next year!

Michael

rescued: a poem

Destitute and naked, I crawl through this land
Parched mouth and hunger, I’m cursed as a man.
Destination is uncertain, purpose unclear
I’m constantly searching, but arriving nowhere.

Day after day, night after night
I am tormented with every new sight
Dead ends and pitfalls, apathy sets in
What am I to do, wallowing in my sin?

I need to be rescued, freed from this land
When off in the distance I see the form of a man.
He is beaten and bloody, with thorns on his head
But despite His condition, He looked at me and said.

“Son, I came here for this purpose and this alone,
To give my life as a ransom, your sin to atone.
The penalty of sin is death, justice must be upheld
My holiness demands it, it must all be expelled.

You were born with this disease, inherited from Adam
It encompasses your very being, more than you could fathom
I gave you the Law, but it can only condemn
You must be perfect, freed from all sin
You’ve tried to earn my favor by keeping all my Law
But you’ll never be able to earn it, you were cursed by the Fall
Blind, deaf, and lame, a spiritual corpse continues to rot
But I came here to rescue, heal, and give hope to the lost.

It is on this tree that love, mercy, and justice meet
I took your punishment in order to set you free.
I lived the perfect life that you can not live,
My wrath has been satisfied, I drank it to the dregs.
You no longer stand in condemnation, your guilt has been taken away
I will send you my Spirit to guide you in my ways.

In three days time I will rise from this grave
Sin, death, and Satan conquered and slain.
I give you my righteousness, your sin in exchange
Was buried, destroyed, and in the grave shall remain.

This is the Gospel, Good News to proclaim
The only thing possible to give life to the lame
The blind receive sight, the deaf can now hear
You’re a new creature, a child and an heir.

Pain you shall have and trials you will endure
Pick up your cross and die daily, your future is secure.
Don’t be surprised when you face persecution and strife
That which is mortal shall be swallowed by life."

seeking. found.

Seeking

Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death. Every day, hour, minute, second, I am trapped, wallowing in this mire and looking for identity, security, and love. I am constantly searching, yet never arriving. Like a vessel on a raging sea, I am tossed over and under the tumultuous waves of my own self-righteousness and pride. Even in my quest for humility, I set myself up as my own god, serving the passions and desires of my flesh. There is a war that is raging in my soul, constantly attempting to gain ground. Peace is non-existent. Everything is questioned. Motives. Purpose. Meaning. My heart grows heavy with pain and grief. As I crawl through this desolate desert on my hands and knees, looking for a glimmer of hope and light, I collapse under the weight of my own depravity. All is done. There is nothing I can do to ever please this god who requires nothing short of perfection....

Found

After attempting everything in my own strength trying to find this god and earn his favor, I finally give up. Dead. A corpse rotting in this lonesome desert. I’m not sure how long, but a voice said “Live” and my eyes were opened, my ears could hear, my mouth was made alive and began immediately to praise this God who was fully a man. He looked at me and said, “Son, today I have made you alive. You tried to seek me in your own strength, but I have found you! You are my child. I rescued you. You see, I lived the perfect life that the Father requires of you. I took all your sin and filth and the Father punished me in your place. I died the death you deserved to die! I did this for you, not because you deserve it, but because I love you. No one takes my life from me, I lay it down willingly for my sheep! When the Father looks at you, He sees Me. I give you the Comforter, my very Spirit, to guide and direct you through this life. There will be pain and suffering, but take heart, my child, you have hope! Your identity is secure. Nothing can ever separate you from my love. So go! Tell others this Good News. It’s not advice, telling them how to live a better life or how to seek me. Rather it is facts that are to be declared. For when I say “Live”, there is no power on earth or hell that can stop me from resurrecting a spiritual corpse! You have been rescued....