an unknown hymn by John Newton

Not sure of the title of this hymn, but it really spoke to me.

I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face,
‘Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
And He, I trust, has answered prayer,
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair,
I hoped that in some favor’d hour,
At once He’d answer my request,
And by His love’s constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest.
Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart,
And let the angry powers of hell
Assault my soul in every part.
Yea, more with His own hand He seem’d
Intent to aggravate my woe
Cross’d all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourd and laid me low.
Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt Thou pursue Thy worm to death?
It is in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith,
These inward trials I employ,
From self and pride to set thee free;
And brake they schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st seek thy all in me.

John Newton

filled with the Spirit

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Ga 5.16

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the the day of redemption.” Eph 4.30

What does it mean to be filled with the Spirit? I think that typically I used to think of it in terms of being filled up with something like pouring water into a jar. This, however, falls drastically short of what it actually entails. The Holy Spirit is not merely a force or power, He is a Person. I’m sure that most of us have experienced a time in our life when our thoughts are controlled or filled up with that special someone whom we love and cherish. In many ways, this person controls and dictates our thoughts and actions. Everything we do is filtered through the one we love. How will this affect them? You long to spend time with them. You desire to please them. In a very real way, your mind is filled with this person. In similar fashion, to be filled with the Holy Spirit means essentially the same thing. You take all your thoughts captive and you examine your words and actions in light of how it will affect Him. You desire to please him and long to spend time in the Word which was given by Him. You seek to know Christ better and more intimately. In short, the Spirit controls you and you are filled with Him. Furthermore, to put it negatively, we are commanded not to grieve the Holy Spirit. This can be done in many ways. When we fail to acknowledge His presence, it is hurtful. He is described as a dove that is gentle and meek. There is nothing more insulting to a person than to fail to acknowledge them even though you know them. Who hasn’t experienced the pain of knowing that someone saw you walking down the street, yet ignored you and went about their own way. This is how the Spirit must feel when we don’t acknowledge His presence. If we thought of sin in terms of hurting someone we love, then I think we would think twice before we acted on our fleshly desires. This is a constant battle that we each face every day of our life. Essentially, the flesh and the Spirit are in a battle for our minds. Will we fill it with temporary, fleeting things or will we acknowledge His presence and submit ourselves to His will and control? Each morning when we wake up we must be intentional and begin preaching to ourselves. We must remind ourselves “who” and “what” we are in Christ. “The trouble with us is that we do not talk enough to ourselves. We do not preach enough to ourselves; we all ought to be preachers preaching to that congregation that consists of self.” (MLJ) We must address ourselves like David, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” (Ps 43.5) My prayer for myself and others is that when we wake up each morning we begin our day by acknowledging God’s presence through His Spirit. The very presence of Christ dwells within us. Allow this Person to fill your mind and control your words and actions throughout the day. Spend time with Him through the reading and studying of His Word. Take time to pray and expressing your praises as well as your trials. Being filled with the Spirit is not merely a passive exercise. We are commanded to “work out our own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you , both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” (Php 2.12) Along with Paul, our supreme desire should be “to know [Christ] and the power of His resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in His death.” (Php 3.10) Christ sent us the Spirit in order to reveal Himself to us, to make Himself real to us and to show us what He has done on our behalf. The Spirit always testifies about Christ. May we be filled with the person of the Spirit as He molds us more and more into the image of Christ.

the living dead

One can only truly live after he has accepted the fact that he is already dead. It’s a fundamental disposition. We deserve nothing and everything we have is a gift from God. We are born totally depraved and even our good deeds are still tainted with sin. Death is not something that most people like to dwell on. But why is it that we spend so much time in preparation in planning for our futures, but we rarely prepare ourselves for death. After all, it is the only certain thing that we will each have to face. For the believer, death is the last enemy, but we have already been given eternal life. Although we die physically, spiritually we have already been resurrected. We possess even now the benefits of eternal life. When Christ died, He absorbed the wrath of God in my place. The old man died with Him. So, why do we fear physical death? I admit that I experience anxiety and fear at times when I think about facing this last enemy. I think what it comes down to is a lack of faith and unbelief. If I truly believe that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, then why fear? I believe that this fear is the root cause of most other fears in life. Why is it that we are not going into hostile countries that hate Christ? Is because we may die for advancing the Gospel? Is this such a bad thing? I admit, I’m not there yet. I have many fears and weaknesses. I selfishly look for ways to serve Christ, yet hold on to my comforts. The Christian life is not a comfortable life! If we are not standing up for the rights of those who are unborn and the injustices that occur for the poor and the weak, then who will? Yes, you will be hated and it may even cost you your life! But we are already dead! They may kill our bodies, but who can touch the one who is safe in the arms of Christ. I know this isn’t something fun to think about, but lets face it. We’re selfish and care more about this life than the life to come. Wherever the true Gospel goes forth, there is always persecution. We don’t want to engage in Kingdom work because we’re too complacent and self-consumed. We’d rather sit on our butts and waste our God-given time doing absolutely nothing that furthers the Kingdom of Christ. We are the center of our universe. If we are to share in the sufferings of Christ, we have to give this fear to Him. This isn’t something that we can naturally produce within ourselves. Nothing but the grace of God can produce this sort of outlook. Dear Christian, we have hope! Hope that is seen is not true hope. “Let not your heart be troubled! Believe in God and believe also in me.” If you truly accept the fact that you are dead, then there is nothing in this life that can phase you. You will boldly go forth, with your face set like flint engaging the enemy and proclaiming the Good News of the Gospel. Fear no man! Fear only God who has promised to welcome you into His presence. We are merely pilgrims, strangers, sojourners in this world. This is not our home. The more we pound this into our heads, the closer we are to arriving at this position! O God, help my unbelief. May we join hands and hearts as a band of brothers in this cause! Death is not something that we intentionally seek out, but we must be prepared to face this enemy if this is the result of bringing the Gospel to those who are enmeshed in the kingdom of Darkness. O God, may we renounce our foolish desires for a life of comfort and ease. “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead and Christ will shine on you.” This world is far more wicked and dark than we ever imagined. Don’t succumb to the lies of the enemy that seeks to woo our souls to serve fleeting things that will all pass away. Security does not lie in material things but in Christ who gave Himself for us! Let’s live each day to the fullest and be willing to answer the call to die so that we may truly live!

accepted in Christ

“How marvelous that we, worms, mortals, sinners, should be the objects of divine love! But it is only ‘in the beloved.’ Some Christians seem to be accepted in their own experience, at least, that is their apprehension. When their spirit is lively, and their hopes bright, they think God accepts them, for they feel so high, so heavenly-minded, so drawn above the earth! But when their souls cleave to the dust, they are the victims of the fear that they are no longer accepted. If they could but see that all their high joys do not exalt them, and all their low despondencies do not really depress them in their Father’s sight, but that they stand accepted in one who never alters, in one who is always the beloved of God, always perfect, always without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, how much happier they would be, and how much more they would honour the Saviour! Rejoice then, believer, in this: thou art accepted ‘in the beloved.’ Thou lookest within, and thou sayest, ‘There is nothing acceptable here!’ But look at Christ, and see if there is not everything acceptable there. Thy sins trouble thee; but God has cast thy sins behind His back, and thou art accepted in the Righteous One. Thou has to fight with corruption, and to wrestle with temptation, but thou art already accepted in Him who has overcome the powers of evil. The devil tempts thee; be of good cheer, he cannot destroy thee, for thou art accepted in Him who has broken Satan’s head. Know by full assurance they glorious standing. Even glorified souls are not more accepted than thou art. They are only accepted in heaven ‘in the beloved,’ and thou art even now accepted in Christ after the same manner.”

-Charles Spurgeon

I read this earlier this evening and it really spoke to me. Whenever I have spiritual struggles or I fall into some sort of sin, I have a tendency to beat myself up even though I genuinely repent. The key lies in seeing ourselves as being accepted in Christ. The enemy is subtle. We battle against our own flesh, the world, and the Devil who first tempts us to sin, then he condemns us for sinning and loads us with guilt deceiving us from going before the Throne for forgiveness, restoration, and cleansing by the blood of Christ. When we stop viewing our standing as a matter of what we do and start believing in what Christ has done, then we will be freed from this performance based religiosity from the pit of hell. This doesn’t mean that we can simply excuse our sin or that there won’t be consequences. However, if we truly realize our acceptance in Christ, then this will act as the most powerful defense against falling into temptation. Although the battle is fierce and the temptations are real and there will be times that we will all fall, go to the Cross. Confess your sin. Repent and rest in the Blood that was shed for you!

“Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom Yahweh counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit...I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to Yahweh, and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.” Ps 32.1-2, 5

decay

I am my own biggest idol. I worship self. I constantly make sacrifices to fulfill my godless passions and desires. I passionately pursue things that will make me acceptable. This acceptance feeds my ego. In turn, this produces pride which is the root of all sin. I present by body, mind, and spirit as a living sacrifice to myself. Pursue whatever brings me pleasure. Who cares if it is offensive to a holy God. It’s all about me and what makes me feel loved, accepted, and valued. So I kill the Spirit. I embrace the smaller ‘idols’ in order to worship the Idol, known as self. Even when I pursue and worship other idols, it’s simply for the purpose of fulfilling my own desires to be loved. I desire to be made much of. The insecurities, the lies, the doubts...Do whatever it takes to self-medicate. Don’t face reality. Money, lust, status, these are what you crave. This will make you complete. Do whatever it takes. Who cares about who you hurt or damage along the way. This is about me. I’m my own god. I pursue God because he endorses my desire to be made much of. But in the end, there is nothing but pain, hurt, decay, agony, torture, torment, desolation, emptiness, vacuity, and an abyss that festers and putrefies into an unbearable stench. Like all idols that are dead and have no ability to truly see, hear, feel, or think; seeing I do not see, hearing I do not hear, feeling I do not feel, and thinking I do not think.

Perhaps this is what it means to be given spiritual eyes. Not only to see God for who He truly is, but also to see my own state and how wicked, depraved, sick, immoral, iniquitous, vile, and corrupt that I really am. It’s not until I accept this reality that I can fully grasp how much I need Christ. I am a man who is weak, lustful, insecure, prideful, covetous, and desperately in need of rescue. The more I truly see Christ, the more I begin to truly see myself and it is not pretty.

“O Holy Father! Please give me spiritual eyes to see Your Holiness and myself for who I really am. Give me spiritual ears to hear your Word. Give me the mind of Christ to discern your truth. Help me by God’s grace to keep myself from idols, the biggest idol being myself. Fill my heart with the love of Christ. Give me the grace to live this life in such a way that brings you glory. And by seeing you, give me the ability to make much of you. Help me to die to Self and live by the power of the Spirit. Let there not be one nanosecond in which I am not aware of your Presence. This is eternal life. That they may know you the only true God and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. Help me to know you. Help me not to wallow in past sin that was nailed to the Cross. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Give me the grace to see your Glory. Give me a hunger and a thirst that only your Word can fill. Keep me from temptation. Guard my heart. May I be steadfast, unmovable, and relentless in putting to death the deeds of the flesh by the power of the Spirit. May I find my joy, acceptance, and happiness in You. Resurrect this dead corpse and help me to live as the new creature that I am.

“Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.” Amen. (Ps 61.1-3)

smoking flax

Christian. Why are you cast down? When trials come and your faith is tested, count it pure joy. You are sharing in the sufferings of Christ. When you feel all alone and the flame that once was has dwindled to smoke, remind yourself that "A smoking flax He will not quench." The fact that there is smoke proves that there is at least a smoldering coal that is producing the smoke. Allow Christ to fan this coal into a raging fire that refines your very being. Look to the Cross, Christian. Gaze upon Him who was made sin for you! Stand in awe at the greatest act of love the universe has ever witnessed. Remember the power of the resurrection. Christ triumphed over sin, death, and Satan! You have the freedom now NOT to sin. You owe no debt to the flesh. You have been transferred from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of Light. You are on a mission sent as an ambassador of King Jesus entrusted with a message of Good News that is the only hope for you and those who remain in the bondage of sin. Christian, there is an eternal weight of glory that far outweighs the present trial you are experiencing. You already possess eternal life. Fear no man who can destroy the body, but fear Him who can destroy both body and soul in hell. Die every day! The old man has been crucified with Christ. You have been raised with Him to new life. Press on! Even though you fall, get back up on your feet and pick up your Cross. The war is over, but the battle rages on. A fighting soldier is a living soldier. The fact that you are fighting proves that you're alive. The battle is fierce, but the King is the Ancient of Days and rules with a rod of iron. You are more than a conqueror clothed in the righteousness of Christ, adopted as a child of God. So take every thought captive. Slay the deeds of the body. Renew your mind every day. Present your body as a living sacrifice. Love passionately. Seek the good of others. Seize the day. Rejoice in the Lord always. Be gentle and patient with one another. Pray fervently. O Christian, you are more wicked than you ever dared believe, but more loved than you ever dared hope for.

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever." Ps 73.25-26

the opportunity of a lifetime

“This will be your opportunity to bear witness.” Luke 21:13

As I was making my way through the Gospel According to Luke last week, this verse struck me like a ton of bricks. So many people assume that Christianity is an easy, feel good, soft, warm and fuzzy, life. They’ve been taught that as long as they repeat the prayer and say the words that they will get to go to heaven. They’re whole perception of coming to Christ is because He makes much of them. They’re more in love with the gifts than the Giver. It’s all about them and their happiness, comfort, and status. After all, who wouldn’t want the “Good Life”? If this is what Christianity is, then sign me up! This is called spurious faith. When times get tough and God doesn’t bend down to meet their demands, they’re gone!

One of the major themes running through Scripture in general, the NT in particular is the role of suffering in the life of the true Christian. Wherever the true Gospel goes forth, there is always a backlash from the enemy. Just a cursory reading of any of the four Gospels will reveal that Christianity is not the “Good Life” that so many envision it to be. In short, it is a life of pain, suffering, and trials. To make matters more complicated, the struggle is both internal and external. The flesh “wars” against the Spirit and the Spirit “wars” against the flesh. We are called to die every day. It is suffering that typically reveals whether or not our faith is genuine or spurious. The true believer embraces suffering as an opportunity to make much of Christ!

So, what is the opportunity that Jesus says we will have to “bear witness”? In verse twelve, He says, “But before all this they will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up in the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name’s sake.” He continues in verse 16-19 saying, “You will be delivered up even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and some of you they will put to death. You will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But not a hair of your head will perish. By your endurance you will gain your lives.” How much more explicit could Christ be? I know that many of us have never faced persecution in America, but could it be because our lives are so assimilated to the culture that there is no visible difference? The apostle John says that the “whole world lies in the power of the evil one.” If this is the case, then this includes America. It doesn’t matter what our heritage is, if the true Gospel is lived out, we will suffer! Paul tells Timothy that “all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” (2 Ti 3:12)

I know that persecution and suffering doesn’t always come in physical forms, but I do believe that we are living in a world that is just as fallen, wicked, and depraved as the days of Christ. I know that in the immediate context Christ was addressing His disciples, but the Bible is always relevant because the heart of man and the heart of God have not changed. I’m not saying we need to seek suffering just for the sake of suffering. But in the end, if we’re not experiencing some sort of pain, suffering, or persecution, I think it’s a great opportunity for self-examination. The Christian life is radical! You’re either in or your out. There’s no in between. I pray that God may give us the grace to see with spiritual eyes as we face new battles every day and that by enduring we will gain our lives!

ashes remain

As tough as the past few months have been, I don’t want to let this time go to waste. In the midst of change and loss, so often we have the tendency towards self-pity and we end up just wallowing in our own muck. I know that it is very important to take the time to grieve and to mourn, but at some point we must face reality and rise from the ashes. That said, the past few days I have been pondering some very basic questions. I believe that many times in the Christian life, we tend to miss the forest because of the trees. We become so consumed in our hurt, pain, and loss that we don’t take the time to see things from an eternal, vertical perspective. In the West, we tend to view ourselves as facing the future. The past is behind us, so the key when trials and suffering come is to simply forget the past and look to the future. The ancient Hebrews, however, viewed themselves as facing the past. They constantly held their history before them and they knew that the same God who had been faithful, loving, and patient with them, would continue to do so as they “backed” their way into the future. I know that Paul says, “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Php 3.13-14) There is a sense in which we are to be striving toward the future and what lies ahead in the victory we have in Christ. But I think what happens many times is we simply write the past off altogether, throwing away the good with the bad. I believe it is healthy to examine your life and hold the past before you and see how God has been good, faithful, loving, and patient with you. This same God who is your Father and loves you intimately is the same God who will do the same in the present and in the future. Furthermore, I believe one of the main keys is to constantly look back to the Cross. If we are intentional about holding the Cross before us, we will constantly have a picture of what true love looks like. It will produce humility as we hold our murdered Savior before our eyes. As we look at His mutilated, battered body, we know the cost of our sin.

I don’t want to simply forget my past. Healing involves not simply dealing with the evils we have suffered, but also the sins we have committed. If I truly believe that God is sovereign, then I must stop in all circumstances and examine myself. So, it is my hope that over the course of the next few weeks, months, or even year to enter into an intense time of examining what it looks like to be a man of godly, Christ-like character. How can I learn from past mistakes and regrets in such a way that God uses them to change me for his glory? There are many different pictures that the Bible uses to describe Christ. He is at one and the same time a valiant King, who is strong and righteous, and just, but He is also a Shepherd who is gentle, and loving, and patient. It is my prayer that I as I begin to look into the Truth of Scripture, that it will transform me into a man of character. I pray that someday I will be a worthy groom who has risen from the ashes to love his bride with the same love as Christ loves His church. I know that in the grand scheme of things, it is only the grace of God that can change this heart and that I will never be perfect until I see Him as He is. In the meantime, however, I want to press on to know Him more and as I gaze at His holiness that it will transform me into a man after His own heart. Let the healing begin...

life: a divine comedy

I believe that one of the biggest battles that we face each day is to not fall into the trap that this world is all there is. So much of the Christian life is determined by your mindset. We are engaged in a battle every second of every day against an enemy that is seeking to fight for our minds and get us to believe the lie that this is all there is. I’ve had a lot of time the past few months to sit in silence. At times, I’ll admit, it really freaks me out. It really forces you to take an honest look at your life, the world around you, and the circumstances that surround you. When things are taken away from you and you are left with a fraction of what once was, you begin to examine yourself and sometimes what you find is not so pretty. So often in the business of life, we attempt to feel our time with busy schedules, road trips, social media, and a plethora of other things that fight for our attention. I’ll be the first to admit that I have been guilty of sacrificing my time for all of the above. Honestly, I think a big reason that we seek these things is that we cannot handle the silence and are scared of what we might find. There is a void that we seek to fill with people or things other than Christ. So much of our identity is wrapped up in this world. We don’t take the time to stop and see what we really are in Christ. This is not something that comes natural to us. Even Paul says, “for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” (Php 4.11) Hence, we have to learn to be content in any situation. This has been a constant struggle for me and I know that God has brought me to this point so that I can learn to be content with Him and Him alone. As I look back on life, I can attest that nothing is certain. People change, circumstances change, and the only constant we have is our Rock, Christ Jesus. If we find our identity, security, or meaning in anything else, then we are doomed to be disappointed.

How then are we to engage in this battle called life? A lot of people view this life as tragedy. In literature, a tragedy moves from a wonderful beginning to a horrible ending and there is no resolution. As we journey through life and reality sets in, dreams are dashed, relationships are broken, and eventually we all face death. If the Bible ended with the Fall, then by all means this life would be tragic. But this is how we so often live our lives even as believers. We act as if this is it! We fail to realize that full scope of the Bible is not tragedy, but comedy. In the classical sense, a comedy begins on a high note, moves toward despair, and ends triumphantly. This is what the Gospel is all about. We were created as perfect beings, meant to live in fellowship with God and each other. With the Fall, however, despair and death entered the world. The Good News is that the story ends triumphantly for those who are in Christ. This is what the Cross is all about. When Christ died, He conquered sin, Death, and Satan. He died the death that we deserved to die and lived the perfect life that we cannot live. The story of life ends in triumph for those who are a part of His Kingdom. The enemy tries to get us to view this life as a tragedy, and without Christ it is!

When we face loss and pain in this life, we should stop and ask the question, “What are you trying to teach me through this Lord?” Many times we don’t have the all the answers and at times we may not ever know all the purposes that are in the mind of God. I think we rarely stop and ponder the fact that there is a whole other dimension in which our lives are on display. Take Job for instance. Really, God proved Satan wrong at Job’s expense. As far as we know, He was never let in on what was truly going on between God and Satan. As God’s children, we each play a leading role in this EPIC adventure called life. For all we know, the angels are enthralled as they watch our lives, waiting to see how things unfold in this gripping drama. Paul says, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.” (1 Co 13.12) It is in the midst of loss that our faith is truly tested and refined. Each morning when we wake up, we have a choice to make. Are we going to view this life as a tragedy or the comedy that it truly is? No matter the circumstances, no matter the loss, as children of God, we have the hope that the ending of the story ends triumphantly, not in tragedy.

I wish that I would have taken this more to heart, but there is nothing I can do to change the past. I must now rest in the fact that I have a warrior King who loves me passionately and gave His life for me. I stand cleansed from past sin and He is molding me more and more into His image. His grace is sufficient for every circumstance and I am commanded to worship Him and praise Him even in the midst of loss. He has been nothing but good to me and He loves me so much that He was willing to discipline me so that I do not lose sight of the eternal purposes. As I think of my life being on display, I pray that I remain faithful and engage in this epic battle knowing that whatever happens in this life, I can say that I fought the good fight and finished the race! To hear Him say, “Well done, Michael, my good and faithful servant!” will far outweigh any loss or pain that I experience in this life. May this forever be my prayer!

a war and a wedding

“The message of the Bible teaches us that life is a war and a wedding. Life is a war--a grand adventure in which God calls us to die daily. Life is a battleground--an epic quest to join God in the ultimate defeat of his archenemy--Satan. Life is a wedding--a passionate romance in which Christ calls us to love intimately. Life is a battle for our love--the ageless question of who captures our heart--Christ or Satan.”

R. Kellemen, Soul Physicians: A Theology of Soul Care and Spiritual Direction, 15.

I read this quote earlier today and I couldn’t help but pause and meditate on this truth. I think over the past few months, I have definitely experienced the spectrum between war and love. I always had the desire to love, but I never realized how hard the battle would actually be. Furthermore, I tried to fight in my own strength which is futile. This is the epitome of pride. Instead of dying in order to live, I decided to wage my own battle and ran headlong into a wall of grief and tragedy. Like a loving Father, God eventually had to intervene and say ‘enough is enough.’ I cannot and I will not bless sin. You are attempting to live life in the flesh and this is producing nothing but grief, strife, and eventually death. So, the chastening begins. Like any soldier, we must go through training and discipline before we are fit to engage in battle. If we enter into this war called life in our own strength, we are bound to fail miserably.

One passage that has really spoken to me of late is Hebrews 12:5-12. It says:

And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Although I didn’t realize it at first, I can pretty safely say that I have experienced an intense season of disciplining from my Father. I’m honest enough to say that it is not a fun-filled experience and probably one of the harder things I’ve ever faced in life. But, in the grand scheme of things, I know that it is for my good. This was in His plan to make me stop and realize some things that I had not dealt with. You see, sin does not merely effect you, but it has both a vertical and a horizontal dimension. It is always first and foremost an insult against God and His holiness and secondly there is always a ripple effect. If we are His children, God will not allow us to continually insult His holiness or hurt those around us that He has placed within our lives to love and care for. He is much more concerned about our holiness than our happiness. Many times the only way we can experience true joy, love, and holiness is if we are first made aware of the depth of our sin and flesh and how much Christ has done for us. We must first lose all faith in ourselves before we can place all of our faith in Christ. If we do not respond to the positive teaching through the Word, then God has no choice but to discipline us and train us to engage the battle through His strength not our own. Life is a war.

But life is also a wedding. I remember a time when I desired nothing less than to be a man of character and represent Christ to all whom I encounter. I prayed fervently that He would give me the opportunity to share His love through a relationship that would hopefully end in marriage. The opportunity has since come and gone, and somewhere along the way, I took my eyes off of Christ and placed them on myself. And when you take your eyes of Christ, you no longer have the ability to truly love others. You stop sacrificing and begin to serve yourself. The results are tragic. I relied on my own strength and like any idol, at some point it must all come crashing down. I really wish things would have worked out, but I know that God in His purposes had other plans. I think I now know that there is never love without death and there is never peace without fighting for it. Although the pain of past regrets and failures are still very real, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m beginning to gain back that passion and fire of becoming a man of character. I’m finding the joy of redemption and forgiveness in Christ. I long to become a man who exhibits the characteristics of a Kingdom citizen as taught in the Sermon on the Mount. I desire to produce the fruit of the Spirit that leads to life and peace rather than the fruits of the flesh that lead to death. All of this is a battle, but the war must be waged. If we are going to experience the passionate romance that Christ has called us to live out with our bride, we must first experience with Him.

O God, may you give me the grace to fight so that I may love!

i thank God

I thank God for the pain, it let’s me know I’m alive. I thank God for the wounds, it’s only then that He can heal. I thank God for the trials, that He sees fit to refine me. I thank God for the loneliness, therefore I can have sweet fellowship with Him. I thank God for uprooting me, for I know now that my plans are not my own. I thank God for the chastening, for He disciplines His children He calls His own. I thank God for pressing me, for only then can the corruption ooze out of me. I thank God for the tears, now I know that I can feel. I thank God for knowing her, but now I know how it feels to lose the only one I've ever loved. So long friend, may God use you mightily for His Kingdom!

spectacular repentance

Manasseh. Many know this king of Judah to be the most wicked in Israel’s history. In fact, it is recorded that he “has done more evil than all that the Amorites did, who were before him, and has made Judah also to sin with his idols.” (1 Ki 21.11) For starters, after his father Hezekiah died, he began a reform of that can only be described as malicious, violent, bloody, and abominable. He rebuilt all the sacred high places that his father had destroyed and erected altars for Baal and Asherah. The worship of these idols included such acts as ritual prostitution in order to arouse the god so that he may ejaculate his seed in the form of rain on the earth. Furthermore, it is recorded that he offered his own sons in child sacrifices. He continued in this tirade by setting up altars for all the host of heaven in the temple of Yahweh. Frequently, he consulted mediums and necromancers, dabbling in all sorts of wicked practices. Tradition holds that it was Manasseh who was responsible for sawing the prophet Isaiah in half. It is recorded that “Yahweh spoke to Manasseh and to his people, but they paid no attention.” (2 Ch 33.10) There can not be a more dark, bleak, evil description of the nation than what has just been described. We are talking apostasy on a national scale that is manifesting itself in egregious sins that most would find nothing less than nauseating. A picture of the human heart when sin is allowed to show what it is truly capable when it goes unchecked. Depravity on full display. And yet....

I have to admit that I never knew this because I have typically skipped reading Chronicles to my loss. I learned a valuable lesson on why it is important to read through the entirety of Scripture. If you only read the account of Manasseh in Kings, you will miss out on quite possibly one of the most spectacular accounts of repentance and forgiveness recorded in Scripture. It is recorded in 2 Chronicles 33 that as a result of this apostasy that God brought the Assyrians to capture Manasseh. They would end up taking him away with hooks and chains to Babylon. “And when he was in distress, he entreated the favor of Yahweh his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his Fathers. He prayed to him, AND GOD WAS MOVED BY HIS ENTREATY and heard his plea and brought him again to Jerusalem into his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that Yahweh was God.” (2 Ch 33.12-13) I was speechless. I never knew this. I couldn’t believe what I had just read. This man who had done more wickedness and evil; who had killed his own sons in brutal, vulgar sacrifice; had killed the prophet Isaiah; who set up idols in the very Temple of God; he repented. And what’s more, God forgave him!

This is a beautiful account of God’s mercy and grace. You see, Manasseh is really a paradigm of the human heart apart from God in all its fury. We are all capable of such sin and in fact Christ teaches in the sermon on the mount that if we are angry with our brother, then we have committed murder in our hearts. Don’t think for one minute that our sin is not that bad. This is a very accurate picture of the depth of sin and what it is capable of. This is really a beautiful account of the Gospel! The Good News! We are all in need of deliverance from this disease called sin. Like Manasseh, we must humble ourselves before God and acknowledge our true state. It is only by the person and work of Christ that we have forgiveness!

I couldn’t help but think of how many kings started out well, but finished apostate. And yet, hidden away in the back of Chronicles is this beautiful, spectacular account of a wicked man that is forgiven by a gracious, merciful God. Truly remarkable!

take this heart of stone

Where do my affections lie? What is it that truly moves my innermost and sets my heart ablaze? It seems as if it has been so long since I have felt the heat of a burning flame. This heart of stone is calloused and hardened, longing to be released and transformed into a life of passion and purpose. If I claim to love my God and my maker, then I should just as passionately hate what He hates. Sin should not reign in this body. My desire should not be to please this flesh. Please, O God, give me spiritual eyes so that I may see you! Give me spiritual ears that I may hear you! Ressurrect this spiritual corpse from spiritual death that I may be fully alive and living unto you. Do not allow my faith to be of a spurious sort. Do not allow my desires to be about this physical, material life. Create a new heart within me. Take this heart of stone and shatter the sin that dwells within it. Do not allow me to leave the bloody ground of the Cross. If this does not move my affections; if beholding Christ’s battered, distorted, bloodied, bruised and mingled body does not move me then nothing will. I am a pilgrim, a sojourner, looking for peace. I am wondering through this life aimlessly, treading a path to the abyss of Sheol. There are not road signs. Directions have been hijacked. I roam in circles. Every now and then I capture a glimpse of a hill with what appears to have a tree erected upon it. But the fog rolls into the dark valley and I become lost once again. Every once in a while I will capture a flicker of light that appears to be coming from that same hill, but then it fades as I wonder deeper into this chasm. The harder I search and the more I attempt self-rescue, the more it becomes apparent that I do not have what it takes. I give in to the temptations and the lies. Who am I? This is not who I am. I have been bought for a price. I am not my own. I have been ransomed from the pit of hell and transferred from this kingdom of darkness to a Kingdom of Light. My citizenship is in another world. It is my task to live as a Kingdom ambassador to those I encounter along this cold, dark, eerie path called life. I have been given a message to proclaim: good news to those who are spiritually poor and bankrupt; to bind up the wounds of those whose hearts have been broken; to open the prison of those who are spiritually oppressed by the enemy; to proclaim that this is the year of the LORD’s favor! O God, if this does not move my affections, then what will? Why am I bound by past guilt when there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ? Why do I allow the fear of the future to control me when you are the Sovereign Lord and there is not one single inch of this world that you say, “Mine! And I rule it!” Although the victory has been won, the battle wages on. Help me to see the risen Christ who conquered sin, death, and Satan by His atoning death. This is the only thing that can save such a damned sinner as myself. My sin is so great that it took the God-man to die in order to redeem my life and soul from Death. If this does not move me, nothing will! O God, I pray that you give me holy affections and passions for You. Do not allow the things of this world to distract me from the straight and narrow path that leads to your Kingdom! Even though I have not seen you, please give me spiritual eyes to see you and love you, that I may believe in you and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory. Allow my muted tongue to become spiritually alive that I may sing from the depths of my being, “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty; who was and is and is to come! Worthy are you, our Lord and God to receive glory and honor and power, for you created ALL things, and by your will they existed and were created. Worthy are you to take the scroll and open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth. Oh the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.” Please God, help me to press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. I do not deserve to breathe the next breath. There is nothing good in me, save Christ Jesus. Even the good things I do were prepared ahead of time in Christ Jesus that I may walk in them. Press on to know the Lord! Give me spiritual thirst and spiritual hunger. Allow this famine to pass. Burst forth with the rivers of living water, gushing forth from the spring of life. May your bread fall from heaven and may your Word never cease to be my guide and my strength. When all around me fall and forsake me, let me cling to your mighty right arm that brings salvation for your people. Oh God, slow to anger, yet abounding in loving kindness and mercy. You will not allow sin to go unpunished and you punished my SIN in the death of your son and have given me His righteousness. I have been adopted and can now call you Abba Father! If this does not move me, then nothing will! I feel so alone, yet I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus. You have wounded me so that you may heal me. Restore to me the days of my youth. The time that I have wasted, may I give it back to you immeasurably. Into your hands I commit my Spirit! The saint must walk alone. If this doesn’t move me, then what will? Take this heart of stone....

awake, O sleeper

Miracles. The eternal breaking into the present. A physical manifestation of a spiritual reality. The Gospels and Jesus will not make any sense at all until you come to the realization that He did not come first and foremost to perform miracles. You see, He was first and foremost about reaching people at the heart level. The reason people didn’t get him then or get him now is they fail to realize that Christianity and the Gospel is first and foremost about the heart. The miracles were simply a physical manifestation of a inward spiritual reality. For instance, when Christ healed the lame man at the pool of Bethesda, he was among a multitude of invalids who were blind, lame, and paralyzed (Jn 5). If He came simply to heal people of their physical disease, then why did he only choose one man. The dire conditions were a physical reminder that spiritually we are all lame, blind, and paralyzed in need of healing. You see, Jesus was about the heart and individuals. He chose this one man who had been there for thirty-eight years and he healed him. Jesus would heal a man who was born blind from birth; spiritually we are all born blind and thus we need spiritual eyes to see who Christ truly is. In addition we are all born spiritually deaf in need of spiritual ears to hear. Like Lazarus, we are born spiritually dead, a corpse rotting and decaying in the tomb with no life. Hence, we need to be resurrected in a spiritual sense in order to truly live. All of these miracles are a picture or symbol that Jesus was using to teach a spiritual reality.

The majority of those who witnessed the miracles, however, failed to grasp these truths. They were thinking strictly on a physical, material level. So, when Jesus feeds the five thousand in John 6, they want to take him by force and make Him king. It’s high time that the Messiah arrive and destroy the hated Romans. He gives us free food. Look at all the things he can give us. Material. Physical. By the end of the chapter, Jesus brings hard truth and says, “Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man, and drink his blood, you have no life in you....When many of his disciples heard it, they said, ‘This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?’” When Jesus was providing for their physical needs they were all about him, but the minute He brings hard truth and draws a line in the sand, “many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.” Why is this? Hard truth exposes motives. They wanted the gifts, but not the Giver. So long as Jesus was about feeding them, healing them, and meeting their physical needs, they were all about him. They could’t come to terms that Jesus was about the heart. Christ then turns to the twelve and asks them, “Do you want to go away as well?” Peter replies, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” Two groups, two totally different responses. The crowd, who was ready to take Him by force, walks away. The Twelve, where else will we go?

Why do I write all this? I’m concerned that there are many today who have placed their faith in a Jesus that serves them and their physical material needs, rather than making Him the object of their faith. There is such a thing as spurious faith. Simply repeating words in a prayer like some magical chant is not saving faith. You can even believe that Christ lived, was crucified, and rose again but still fail to have saving faith. Like the seed that falls on the stony ground, you may begin well, but when hard truth comes your “faith” never took root and you immediately fall away. You desire the gifts, but not the Giver. Even the demons believe in God and shudder. You must place your faith “IN” Christ. This means that even when times are tough and you may be tempted to walk away, you put your big boy pants on and say, “To whom will we go?” Christ must be the object of your faith. Anything less, is spurious.

Our spiritual state is so bad, that we are compared to lame, blind, deaf, paralyzed, and ultimately, dead corpses. We are in desperate need of a miracle. This miracle is described in the new birth! This occurs when God gives us His Spirit and through the hearing of the Good News of the Gospel, Christ says “LIVE!!!!” and we are resurrected and given spiritual eyes to see and spiritual ears to hear! Christ gives us a new heart and takes our heart of stone. We are given a new disposition and nature that is described in terms of a new creation. EVERY TIME A SPIRITUALLY DEAD PERSON COMES TO CHRIST IT IS A MIRACLE! The eternal has broken into the present! The image and name of Christ have been sealed upon our hearts. THIS IS SAVING FAITH!

“Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine in you.” Eph 5.14

terminal illness

I have been diagnosed with a disease that will ultimately lead to my death. When, I’m not sure, but death is imminent. You see, I suffer from a disease called sin. It’s genetic and I inherited from my parents. Yes, it has been in the family for as long as we can trace it. This diseases manifests itself in many different symptoms. Sometimes it is obvious to those around me and at times it appears to be in remission. I have tried to treat this disease on my own many times and in many different ways. Sometimes I go into denial and act as if I’m not sick. Other times I try to hide the fact from others and put on a false front. After all, I don’t want others to view me as weak. Then, at times the reality sets in and I’m able to see how sick I really am. I’ve even tried treating the symptoms. You know, whenever this disease manifests itself in the forms of pride, lust, greed, or take your pick, I simply fool myself into thinking that if I can only manage the symptoms, then the disease will go away. Unfortunately, after I manage to get one under control for a brief time, many others manifest themselves in many different forms. This disease appears to be ingrained in my very essence. I’ve tried everything to try to get rid of this on my own, but it only seems to rage back with a force that is unbearable. Thus, I begin to wallow in this disease as reality sets in. I’m going to die, so why not eat, drink, and be merry? There is no cure. It appears that this is it. So I limp...

After giving up long ago, I received word that there is a man who claims that he has the cure for this disease I suffer from. Apathy set in long ago, but I decided to give it a shot. There’s nothing to lose, right? As my name is called, I catch my first glimpse of him. There is nothing that stood out to me as far as his looks go, but when we made eye contact I could since that there was something different about this doctor. He had a gentle smile and He had a scar in the palm of each hand which was definitely noticeable. He asked me to sit down and then he began to speak.

“Child, I want you to know that I have already diagnosed the problem. In fact, I am very familiar with this disease. I’m going to be honest with you because I love you too much not to give you the truth. This disease will end in death. You see, long ago your first parents were very healthy until they made a fatal choice. They chose to eat the fruit of a tree that was strictly forbidden. The result was this disease which you now carry. This disease is unrelenting and it separates and forbids you to ever enter into the presence of the King. It blinds your eyes so that you can’t see and it deafens your ears so that you cannot hear. It dulls your nerves so that eventually you will become numb and unable to feel. Child, you are more sick than you ever realized and the reality is that without the cure, you will spend not only this life, but eternity in separation from the King. You see, he set out the rules very clearly and his standard is nothing less than perfection. You will never be able to cure yourself. No matter much you try to treat the symptoms or fix yourself you will fail every time. This disease is way too powerful.”

At this point I begin to shed tears. “Then how can I be cured? I’ve tried everything. It seems like the harder I try the more it rears its nasty head. At times the pain is unbearable and I’ve been offered many different types of pain killers but it just comes roaring back. I’m hopeless and destitute. Who can heal me? Who can heal me.....”

As the tears streamed down my face, I feel a gentle hand lifting up my chin. Then I hear him speak, “Child, I have good news if you wish to receive it. Long ago before you were even born I knew that you would suffer from this disease so I came up with a plan. You see, I am just as much human as you are, yet when I was born into this world, I was not tainted with this disease. My Father and I arranged it so that my birth would be supernatural. I was conceived by the Holy Spirit even though my mother was a virgin. This is the only way it could happen. As I began to grow I was exposed to this disease many times by that crafty Serpent who deceived your parents. Thankfully I was able to defeat it with the Words that are written in the Sacred Book. You see, I lived among others just as yourself. I saw the horrors of this disease and the symptoms manifested in the worst of forms. I healed some along the way, but I really came ultimately for one purpose. I did not step out of my eternal glory to simply be an example to be followed. I did not come simply as a moral teacher. You see, child, I came to die! These scars on my hands are only a glimpse of what truly happened.” He paused for a second, then he lifted his shirt and pointed to his side. “You see this hole in my side? This is from a spear that the soldier thrust under my ribs piercing my heart. He wanted to make sure I was dead.” He then lifted his robe and showed me his feet. I couldn’t help but notice the stripes on his back as he turned back around. “Child, I did this for you! You deserved to be punished and killed for this disease you have. The King cannot simply ignore it. You must be healed in order to enter his presence. I knew you were hopeless, so I took your disease upon myself and died the death you deserved to die. The physical was nothing compared to the separation I had to endure from my Father. He could not bear to look at me. He had no choice but to turn His back and pour out His wrath upon me. This is the only way the disease could be eliminated. So I drank it to the dregs! It is finished!”

At this point I begin to weep even harder. “But I can never repay you! I can’t keep the rules, I’ve tried. I’m destitute and bankrupt!” He gently puts his finger to my lips and says, “Shhh.....hush child. You’re exactly where you need to be to receive the cure. You see, it’s a gift! A free gift! All you must do is receive it. I’ve done everything. You see, the grave could not hold me. After three days I rose from it destroying death once and for all. This is the first-fruits that guarantees your resurrection. If you but receive this gift, you will live! But if you reject it, then I have no choice but to pour out my wrath on you and banish you from the presence of the King for eternity. You can either accept that fact that I bore the wrath for you or you will have to bear this wrath yourself, for eternity.”

I look up at him with wet eyes and I said, “Please, I am yours. Rescue me from this disease! I repent of all the times I tried to cure myself and look to other things for false relief.” With a smile on His face, He says “Child, I give you my righteousness. You are now fit to enter into the presence of the King! Now, before you leave I want you to know that I have chosen you to proclaim this Good News to others. You are not the only one who suffers from this disease. If you love other people, you will tell them the reality of this horrible disease. Don’t simply treat the symptoms giving them a false since of hope. Proclaim and declare to them the diagnosis. They are fatal! Love them enough to give them the only cure and send them to me. Now go into all the world and proclaim this!”

From that day on I have not been the same. This disease will still eventually cost me my physical life, but it will be the release into the presence of my King. He will then return one day to raise me to life once again. This is the Hope I have. Life only began when I found I was already dead! Now I must proclaim this message of Good News until He comes!

holy

“You shall be holy to me, for I the LORD (Yahweh) am holy and have separated you from the peoples, that you should be mine.” Le 20:26

Holy.

How often do we actually stop and contemplate what it means to be holy? Although these words were originally addressed to the nation of Israel, the command is extended in the NT and applies to all believers in all times. Israel would serve as a paradigm of the human heart as God chose them to be His own special people based on nothing they had done to deserve His favor. He redeemed them from the bondage of slavery and would lead them on a journey of epic proportions through the wilderness. In exchange, He simply asked that they love Him and keep His commandments. Israel would eventually arrive in the Promised land, but within a few generations they would go apostate and forget the God who had brought them out of their bondage and suffering and turn and serve other gods through means of child sacrifice and ritual prostitution. They would literally “whore” after other gods and cheat on Yahweh with whom they had entered into covenant with. They had agreed that he would be their LORD and they would be His vassal. In exchange for their loyalty and love, God would bless them. However, if they would break covenant, the heavens and earth would act as a witness against them and God would bring upon them the curses that were outlined in their covenant agreement. As you read the history of Israel, God does exactly what He says He is going to do. Israel broke covenant and He had no choice but to eventually boot them out the Promised land just like He said He would do.

I am Israel. I was born in bondage and sin. Dead. A corpse. I literally hated God. I needed to be rescued out of my Egypt. But God is a holy God and a holy God has no choice but to punish sin. The consequence is death. I must die! His justice must be upheld, but how? I am sick. I am wicked. I constantly whore after other gods of my own creation. I look for satisfaction in anything or anyone except the only One that can give me true satisfaction. “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Jesus rescued me from Egypt. He ransomed me from the bondage and oppression of sin. The penalty, death, has been paid at the expense of a Holy God. And what does He ask of me? “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Just like Israel, Christ simply asks that I keep His commandments and to “be holy because He is holy.” He has separated us from the peoples so that we should be His. His very own special people that have been called to represent His love and to reflect His glory. But oh how I fail. Oh how I whore after other gods. I serve Him, but just like Israel I trust in my own strength, pride, and self-righteousness. Why is a holy God so patient with me and not yet booted me out of this land?

The more I gaze into the holiness of God the more I realize my own sin and the gap continues to grow larger. I am hopeless and the weight of my sin is immense. What can bridge this gap between my sin and God’s holiness?

The cross! That bloody, disgusting, rugged, tree on which a Holy God entered into our suffering and paid a price that was infinite. My sin was so great that the cost was infinite and an infinite God chose to enter into my suffering and pay the penalty that I rightfully owed! It is finished! But He did not stop there. He rose from the grave and conquered sin, death, and Satan. He has clothed me in His righteousness and given me His Spirit in order that I can be convicted of sin and testify of this grace and gift of repentance. He simply asks that I confess and it brings Him joy when I acknowledge my sin and turn to Him with a heart of repentance. Joy! Unfathomable. A Holy God receives joy when I acknowledge my sin and turn to Him!

I can never repay Christ for the what He has done, so the best thing I can do to show my love for Him is to keep His commandments! Oh God, may you grant me the desire and humility to submit to your Spirit and keep your commands so that I may love you!

some random thoughts

There are no guarantees in life! The more I reflect on the past the one thing that keeps ringing true is that nothing is guaranteed and that God owes me nothing. Entitlement will ruin you. When we approach God and attempt to project on Him what we define as fair, just, and righteous, the results are devastating. We cannot assume what is true of man is also true of God. The minute we attempt to do so, the created order is turned on its head and creature/Creator distinction becomes muddied and blurred. This is also known as idolatry. We attempt to bring God down to a level that is at the very least equal to creation and proceed to manipulate Him to meet our needs and wants. Prayer then becomes a means whereby we attempt to leverage our deeds and works as spiritual equity with God. It’s not hard to see how entitlement will utterly ruin us.

The only guarantee in life is Christ. We must find our identity and security in Him alone. When faced with circumstances in which we will offend either God or man, we must ere on the side of offending man. We have a very high calling on our life as ambassadors of King Jesus. Our citizenship is in heaven and we represent a King and Kingdom that is not of this world.

The only two things that do not change is God and man. The Dr. (by now I assume you know that I am referring to my dead mentor, Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones) used to always say that for proof of this, ask someone to invent a new sin. There is no sin that is committed today that is not recorded in the OT and there is no sin in the OT that is not still being committed today. The external circumstances may have changed, but the heart of man has not changed.

When I read the Bible, the world makes sense. It explains why there is evil and pain and suffering. Nothing should surprise the believer. We should expect opposition, pain, suffering, and yes, even persecution. Mind you persecution is not always physical, but can also come in the form of verbal or slander as well. Christ said that the when the world hates you, “and it will” know that it hated me first.

I feel as if I have no choice but to proclaim the Gospel. Like Jeremiah, “I am full of the wrath of Yahweh; I am weary of holding it in.” Like Paul, I seek to know nothing but Christ and Him crucified. At the same time, the results will not always be deemed a success by the world’s standards. To those who are called it is the power of God to salvation! The only thing possible for positive change in the world is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Everything else merely slows the decaying process!

So, what do I make of everything. Here’s all that I know. I’ve been placed on this earth and entrusted with the responsibility to live a life as an ambassador for King Jesus! My citizenship is in heaven and I am already seated in the heavenlies. I expect some to receive the message and be transformed from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of Life. I expect others to reject it and hurl insults and persecution and opposition to me for proclaiming the Gospel. But I rest in the fact that I am not responsible for the results, only proclaiming it. The Puritans used to say that the same sun that melts the ice also hardens the clay. My prayer is that I can say along with Paul, “Woe to me if I do not preach the Gospel!”. God forbid if I waste my life. I desire so deeply to hear Jesus say, “Well done my good and faithful servant!”

what is man?

What is man?

In an age of optimism, self-esteem, and progress, I’m sure I’ll be labeled a pessimist. At the end of the day, I really don’t care because I feel that if one is truly honest, they will come to the same conclusion. If you have a warped and incorrect view of what man is, then you will also have warped and incorrect view of man’s troubles and problems. We live in a world that operates on the basis that one has the right to express themselves as they wish, even at the expense of others. Therefore, whatever one likes is therefore of necessity legitimate. Man has set himself up as the highest authority and answers to no one. All the talk about sin and depravity is foolish and only leads to self-repression, which is of course the only sin. What at one time was labeled sin, is now just self-expression and is the highest and most vital possession that man has. Man is merely a result of his environment and instincts and his highest good is found in exercising these powers. At the same time, those who take a stand for what God has revealed as sin are labeled as a bigot, psychopath, and is not only sinning against himself but also against humanity at large. Thus, evil is called good and good is deemed evil.

For some reason, we all have a warped view of what the norm of history and society has revealed to us. Just a cursory look at history will show the norm and default mode of society is far more riddled with war, violence, and conflict rather than this false sense of utopia and peace that we all tend to assume. In fact, history is basically a study of war and struggle between nations and individuals. There never has been a time of universal peace and when peace does occur, it is by far an abnormality, not the norm. That said, what has caused all this conflict, war, death, disease, and suffering?

The first thing we must point out is that man fails to recognize the true nature of self. It’s obvious that before expression must come definition. Man does not understand that his true nature is depraved and not good. The Gospel is not a call to self-repression, rather it is a call back to the realization of the true nature of man. The current view of man does not differentiate between the self and the factors that influence the self or the factors which one uses to express themselves. In reality, man is nothing more than a result of these factors and their effects. These factors may be biological which says that man is nothing more than a mechanism and his personality and self is purely the result of biological forces. Closely related is those that view man in terms of instincts. Still others view man in terms of his environment and geographical or climactic location. The one thing that all these views have in common is that the self has become lost. It is not longer a distinct entity, rather is regarded merely as a result produced by the interaction of these various forces and factors. Self-expression simply means allowing these factors to have free play and exercise in his conduct. Furthermore, to restrain these factors is to do violence to himself.

In Matthew 18:8-9, Jesus says, “And if your hand or your foot causes you sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.” Notice that Jesus does not identify the self with these instruments and powers. In fact, the true self is far more important and greater. They are simply the servants and instruments which the self is to control and use according to its will. According to Christ, man is not simply the result of biological and environmental factors. He is much more. There is another element within man that transcends all these--the soul. To identify the self as nothing more than a result of various factors is nothing more than an attempt to justify and rationalize sin. It chooses to deliberately ignore that which does not fit its scheme or system. Thus, we see that this view of man robs him of his greatest glory, his soul and spirit, which attests that there is more to him than just his body. It is therefore an insult to him and God because it reduces him to the level of a beast or animal and blatantly ignores the fact that man has been created and bears the image of God Himself.

Not only is the self separate and distinct from the hands, the feet, and the eyes, but it also may be “offended” by them. Not only do the various instincts and impulses fail to true and only self, but may actually be the greatest enemy, source of offense, and cause of damnation. Here is something which most people ignore altogether because their view of sin is false and fails to recognize the danger that threatens the self from within. This recognition of sin is the whole crux of the matter. It is sin that has introduced this complexity. The very faculties that were designed to be servants of man has become his master. There is nothing more dangerous than to allow these faculties to guide us because of sin.

How tragic and foolish it is to ignore sin! A travesty and yet that very principle is being advocated for today. The reality that sin is being ignored and self-expression encouraged is fraught with the most dangerous consequences conceivable. There is only one test of whether or not something is right, the test of pleasure and enjoyment. If it is your desire to stifle your conscience, murder your reason, and quench every desire of higher and nobler things which arise in you, and if your desire is merely to satisfy your lust and the craving for pleasure, then go for it! Just realize that the true way to express the self is the way of discipline and order, reason and prayer, the voice of conscience and encouraging every uplifting thought and desire. The world may regard you as a fool, and from its standpoint you will certainly be maimed and have but one eye, but you will be a man worthy of the name. Jesus said that we should expect opposition, persecution, and resistance. They hated Him, what makes us think that the world will not hate us as well. Hold fast to the Cross of Christ which alone can give meaning to sinful and depraved humans!

[Much of this is a meditative reflection based on Truth Unchanged, Unchanging by Martyn Lloyd-Jones that I’m currently reading]

a word from my dead mentor

"[Christ] still remains the only hope of individual man, and the only hope for the whole world. Is the Gospel still relevant? Is its ancient message still adequate? The answer is that it alone is relevant. It alone can deal with, and solve, the problems of mankind."

"The Gospel of Jesus Christ confronts and challenges the modern world with the statement that it alone has the answer to all man's questions and the solution to all his problems. In a world seeking a way out of its tragedy and its troubles, the Gospel announces that the solution is already available. In a world feverishly looking to the future, and talking about plans for the future, the Gospel proclaims that the search is not only mistaken in direction, but is also quite unnecessary. It denounces the fatal habit of pinning our hopes to something that is going to happen. It announces that all that people, individually and collectively, need has been at the disposal of mankind for two thousand years. For the central message of the Gospel is to tell people that everything necessary for their salvation is to be found in the person of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the only begotten Son of God. It is in Him, His life and His teaching, that we see what we are meant to be and the kind of life we are meant to live. It is in His death upon the cross that we see the sin of the world finally exposed and condemned. It is through His death that we see the only way whereby man can be reconciled to God. It is from Him alone that we can derive new life and obtain a new beginning. It is only as we receive power from Him that we can begin to live the life God intended us to live...The Gospel proclaims that the time is coming when at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, 'of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth.' (Php 2:10). Thus, the Gospel of Jesus Christ confronts man and urges him to turn back to this unique Person who was here on earth two thousand years ago, in whom alone salvation is to found."

-Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, from "Truth Unchanged, Unchanging", 105-06.

What is Mortal will be Swallowed up by Life

I just received word an hour ago that my aunt passed away last night after a six month battle with brain cancer. Although I rejoice that she is in the presence of Christ, I still cannot look upon her death and not feel outrage and anger at the effects of sin. It is once again an all too real reminder that death is the last, but also the ugliest, strongest, and merciless enemy that we will all have to face. I take comfort in the fact that Christ has gone before us and that even He experienced death. Furthermore, we all died with Him in His crucifixion, yet we are all raised with Him in His resurrection. It’s moments like these when I feel blessed in a very real way to emotionally and spiritually enter into the sufferings of Christ. It is not something to run from, rather it is to be embraced and cherished. Count it pure joy, brothers, when you experience trials of various kinds. Christ entered into our sufferings by offering Himself on our behalf. The pain that I now feel is the very pain that Christ felt. The outrage at looking upon death is the very outrage that He expressed. The Gospel becomes very real in the midst of loss. Through the deepest possible pain, I can still say, God is enough. Although I cannot begin to understand why or how, I know that it “cannot” be that He doesn’t love us. The cross totally blows that out of the water. I long to be with my family, especially my mother at this time. I knew that moving 2600 miles away from home would have its drawbacks, but this is by far the toughest. I feel as if I am being poured out. I try to focus on this in relation to the loneliness that Christ felt, but He was abandoned by everyone, His Father included. This gamut of emotions pales in comparison to what Christ experienced but I trust that I do not run from this pain. Death is a curse, but is also a blessing for those who are in Christ. “This perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?...For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened--not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.” It is in death that we truly find life. Look to Jesus, it is in His death alone that we may truly begin to live. This is the Gospel! A holy God cannot leave sin unpunished, yet a merciful God cannot leave us without a way of redemption and forgiveness, reconciling us to Himself. As John Owen, the famous puritan put it, the cross is the death of death in the death of God. Christ became what He hated most so that He could make us become righteous and holy. This great exchange, He took my sin, which really wasn’t His and gave me His righteousness which really wasn’t mine! So, as I sit here and sort this out, I hope and pray that I do not forget this day. I am outraged and livid when I look at death and the effects of sin and suffering, yet I am comforted and blessed to enter into the very sufferings of my Savior, even if it is but a glimpse of what He experienced!